After watching this week’s episode of 9-1-1, I am in a rut. Let me rephrase, it’s more like a trench I can’t get out of. We get so complacent with our life, sometimes we don’t feel like it’s a rut.
After these past few years, I can, without a doubt, say I’m in a rut. Working, staying at home, it’s all the same routine. I get up, get 2 of the kids off to school, try to scarf down a hot breakfast and coffee, do chores while my 2 year old runs amuck, lunch, more chores, kids home from school, snack, dinner, some TV (if no more chores) then it’s off to bed to do the same thing over again. So far for 10 years that’s all I’ve done. No wonder my health started to deteriorate.
In those times, I tried to take care of myself. Despite losing 30lbs after my 1st from 2 days personal trainer and 5 days gym, it put me in the hospital, sidelined for 6 weeks. After that, I was never the same. When I get that much momentum going, it’s hard to stop. I’ve tried to get it going again but something always comes up. Kids, phone, dog, appointments, business. I know they shouldn’t be excuses but they were. On top of all that, taking care of my sick mother in law didn’t help which later got me another hospital visit for anxiety.
I’ve found myself talking to GOD a lot. Thank Him for what I can and asking for answers and signs for others. I may delve into it later, as it requires a whole lot of soul searching and hard decisions.
I know most people would kill to be in the rut I am with a house to take care of and kids who demand my attention. But I long for the days of peace and quiet. The 2 minutes to go to the bathroom or jump in a shower without one of them accompanying me. Being able to soak in an epsom salt bath because my body is sore without someone knocking on the door, needing something. Getting a good night sleep so I can face the next day. Ah, sleep. What is that again?
So I ask again, are you in a rut? Maybe you’re just starting to dig in or trying to escape alive. Just remember don’t lose yourself in the process. They don’t bring this up in marriage counseling now do they?
That’s my soapbox for now. Depending on which kid irritates me next, there may be a slew of new material coming.